Communication in Relationships Cliff Notes

Communication Cliff Notes

  • Listen First Communication is a two-way process; getting your message across depends on understanding the other person.
  • Be Interested in the people you are communicating with. Remember people are more attracted to those who are interested in them, and will pay more attention to what they are saying.
  • Be Relaxed Bad body language such as hunched shoulders, fidgeting, toe-tapping or hair-twiddling all gives the game away.
  • Smile and use eye contact. It’s the most positive signal you can give.
  • Ask Questions It’s a great way to show people that you are really interested in them.
  • Be Curious If the other person has a different point of view to you find out more about why they have that point of view. The more you understand the reasons behind their thinking the more you can understand their point of view or help them to better understand your point of view.
  • Be Assertive By this we mean try to value their input as much as your own. Don’t be pushy and don’t be a pushover. Try for the right balance.
  • Be Mindful of Non-Verbal Messages When you are speaking try to be enthusiastic when appropriate. Use your voice and body language to emphasis this.
  • Ask for Clarification Don’t immediately try to latch onto something someone has just said … “oh yes that happened to me” and then immediately go on and tell your story. Make sure you ask enough questions of them first and be careful when / if you give your story so as not just to sound like it’s a competition.
  • Learn from Mistakes If you had a really good conversation with someone try and think why it went well and remember the key points for next time. If it didn’t go so well – again try and learn something from it.
  • Communication of Emotions…
    • 55% is non-verbal
    • 38% is the tone of voice
    • 7% is dependent on the content
  • When Sharing Feelings…
    • Be in a good frame of mind
    • Tune into how the other person responds
    • Set a positive tone to the discussion
    • Check out any feelings of discomfort
    • Do not be hangry or tired
  • Before You React…
    • Know the boundaries of the relationships
    • Check out expectations
    • Review your perceptions
    • Review the other person’s perceptions of you
    • Examine interactions
    • Determine the desired outcomes
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