The Harmony Safety Care Plan

Harmony Self Care Plan

The Harmony Safety Care Plan is used as an emotional regulation tool as well as a harm reduction technique. If you notice at the top of the Harmony Safety Care Plan is the Suicide Hotline’s number. The first thing a person sees is how to get help immediately. Also notice the plan follows the Triangle of Safety model.

The Triangle of Safety works from the general to the specific. Working from what you can do, where you can go, to the various of individuals you can ask for help. As a result, you realize you have more control over yourself and abilities. It moves your locus of control from external to internal.

Triangle of Safety
Triangle of Safety

Step One

Starting at the beginning, step one, looks at your warning signs for an emotional crisis. These include dark thoughts, nightmares, heavy depressive moods. Warning signs include the types of situations you put yourself in such as risky behavior. For example being around people you know are not good for you or going to “triggering places.” Pay attention to these maladaptive coping skills and warning signs.

Step Two

Step 2, identifying your internal coping strategies. What are the activities you can do to take your mind off the problems without contacting another person. Coping skills that only involve you and other items. These strategies include meditation, mindfulness, physical activity, showers, video games, and watching favorite show. Try to work on urges yourself first and if those do not work then move to step 3.

Step Three

People and social settings that provide distraction make up step 3 of the Harmony Safety Care Plan. Social settings can include support meetings, game night with family or friends, going to the park. People here are individuals in your outer or inner circle of friends that can provide a distraction. They may not be the people you who super vulnerable with. We save those people for Step 4.

Step Four

Step 4 involves the people you can for help. People from your inner circle make up this list. You need to identify at least 2 people. Make sure to write their numbers down as well because when we are emotionally flooded we forget numbers. In a crisis your phone maybe out of battery life. It is a good idea to write the numbers down.

Step Five

Speaking of numbers step 5 involves the contact information of 24/7 professional agencies. These agencies include local urgent care services and national urgent care services. The ones we have are the National Suicide hotline, texting a national hotline, and a line directly for teenagers.

Step Six

Step 6 of the Harmony Safety Care Plan contains therapist contact information.  It is important to have therapists’ and psychiatrists’ contact information so you can communicate with them. As a result they can help you and provide the resources you may need.  Lastly, is making your environment safe.

Step Seven

What do you need make your environment safe during an emotional crisis? For example some people who take medications will hand over the medication to a trusted individual. Therefore, they can only take their medication as prescribed. Other individuals remove all sharp objects from their homes. Number one thing is if you have firearms in your house please give them to someone else while you are having an emotional crisis. It is just best practice not to have firearms around during these times.

Finally, write down at least one thing that is important to you and worth living for. Even if it just to see the sunrise or your pet. These are both valid reasons to stick around on this plane of exist. Once you have completed the The Harmony Safety Care Plan put a copy in your self-soothe kit, wallet, or bag. Also give a copy to your therapist and/or psychiatrist. Lastly, you may want to consider giving a copy to the people you ask for help from. The more the individuals how to help you the better they serve you during a crisis.

If you want to know about the Harmony Safety Care Plan watch this video

Here is how to make a self-soothe kit

Last, but not least an explanation of the Triangle of Safety

Killing Depression Program (Free)

killing depression

The Killing Depression Program is your introduction to understanding the ins and outs of this mental health disorder. More than 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression according to experts. Depression is a serious mental health condition that requires understanding and medical care. If it is left untreated, depression can be devastating for those who have it and their families.

killing depression program
Download Free Depression List Here

While it may be a common practice these days to refer to a negative feeling inside you as ‘being depressed,’ the repercussions and the effects of a person who is suffering from depression are often ignored, sidelined or worse, they go unnoticed! It can affect the way you feel about yourself which, in turn, will make it very difficult and ‘depressing’ to get through your day-to-day chores.

Killing Depression Program

It is time to take a step towards a journey that will lead you to a depression free life. This checklist will run you through the simple steps and strategies to overcome your worst nightmares, to enter a brighter and highly positive lifestyle and find out how you can gain mastery over your emotions instead of letting them run wild.

Killing Depression teaches you the ins and outs of depression and how to treat it. Unsure if this course is right for you? Read more information with the killing depression program checklist. This program also includes an e-book.


Primal Scream Therapy … Pseudoscience or Genius?!

primal scream therapy

Have you ever screamed … out loud?  Not sitting in grid-locked traffic, not at your partner arguing over who locked the keys in the car, but a raw, guttural, agonizing scream that came from somewhere deep inside you, that you have become totally disconnected from?  A scream so jagged and saturated in pain, that the very release of it left you completely numb and void of every other human emotion?  It felt almost PRIMAL! 

This release leaves you utterly spent … standing in what is only the whispers of repressed emotions, rage and pain that you had buried deep for years. 

While there is an endless array of therapies that have been long accredited and recognized for their success in helping patients deal with repressed emotions and pain, connected to traumatic childhood events, Primal Scream Therapy is one I had not heard of till only recently.  And it has me intrigued as heck!

For every therapist who praises it, there are those who oppose it and want to debunk it, labelling it as pseudoscience. 

What is Primal Scream Therapy

Primal Scream Therapy was created by Dr. Arthur Janov in the late 1960’s and was publicly introduced in the 1970’s with his book The Primal Scream

While most psychologists can agree, at least to some extent, that mental illness can often be the result of, or associated with unresolved, traumatic childhood pain, that tends to be where the cordial conversation ceases. 

Janov claimed that this trauma and pain can be healed, by allowing a patient to re-experience those incidences and that pain FULLY.   And in that safe environment ,feel those emotions and release that pain through spontaneous, unrestrained and oftentimes intense screaming, yelling and sobbing. 

Seems to me that releasing deep pain has tremendous potential to heal, rather than swallowing emotional bile for years.

Be As Loud As You Want With The Scream Box … No One Will Know!

scream box

What is a Scream Box? When is the last time you let out a massive scream?  I mean a raw, guttural, emotionally charged & intense scream!  The kind that leaves you with sweat on your brow, your skin tingling with electricity and ultimately, totally emotionally spent?!  Yeah … THAT kind of scream!  Felt good right?  Correction … it felt freaking amazing!

Scream Box Therapy

What is it about screaming that feels so good?  Well, I can only speak for myself, but this loud vocal exertion of emotion is incredibly cathartic and healing.  I mean, c’mon … how much can I, or anyone for that matter, be expected to keep bottled up inside, without eventually exploding all of THAT out?!  It’s a serious question and one I really want you to think about.

There plenty of research to support screaming as a credible therapy, to deal with trauma, pain, anger, anxiety, fear, etc.   For many people it simply works … and well.

The problem with screaming out loud as an emotional and therapeutic release is that, unless you have a place to go and do this that is private and/ or safe to do so, you really can’t.  And heaven forbid you just say F**K IT and scream yourself senseless … you have about 6 minutes before law enforcement is showing up on your doorstep with A TON of questions!

Solutions!!!

This is where a scream box can be your saving grace.  The scream box allows you to be as loud, as raw and as intense as you need to be.  The beauty in the design is that it stays within your own space.  And trust me … I’ve tested this out.  I live in a small apartment complex and not once did anyone show up at my door thinking I’d been brutally attacked.

The scream box?  Honestly … it’s a great tool to just let it ALL OUT!

Maintaining Mental Health During Covid-19

covid mental health

As we continue to face the COVID-19 pandemic it is vital that we pay attention to mental health. Over the course of the pandemic, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, sadness, grief and depression have become common place. Not only are individuals worried for their physical health and that of their loved ones, they may also be experiencing financial instability, isolation due to social distancing and quarantine measures, or perhaps a sense of hopelessness. It is important to make some adaptations while we hope for brighter and safer days ahead. Doing so can greatly improve and protect your mental health.

Tips For Improving and Maintaining Mental Health During Covid-19:

Ask for Help and Seek Mental Health Support

It can be really challenging to reach out and ask for help when you are struggling. While it may not feel comfortable, asking for help when you need it is the most important tip on this list. Asking for help can start small with things like asking a partner to assist you with a task around the house when you feel overwhelmed. Asking for help may also mean contacting a mental health professional for professional mental health support.

Most importantly, if you are experiencing a mental health crisis, or fear that you may, ask for help by utilizing mental health crisis lines and support networks. Here are some crisis lines that you can keep handy:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
  • The Trevor Project: (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQIA+ individuals under the age of 25.) 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net
  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline- (Provides treatment referral and information for individuals and families facing mental health or substance use disorders.) 1-800-662-4357
National Helpline
National Helpline

Stay Social

Social distancing measures, while working to keep us safe and protect our health, have left many people feeling isolated and lonely. It is important to maintain social contact as best as you can during this time. Here are some ideas for staying socially connected, while socially distanced:

  • Talk to your friends and family and determine a day and time that is open for everyone. Schedule a weekly video chat to catch up.
  • Find online virtual gaming spaces where you can play games with your friends or family online together. Set up a weekly game night.
  • Where you would normally text, try calling where you are able to instead, so you can have more of a socially connected conversation.
  • Have themed video call “parties”. You and your friends or family can dress up according to the theme, and show off your outfits during the video call. This can be a fun way to get out of your typical routine and comfort zone!

Limit News Intake

It is important to stay informed during this time, to make sure you are taking the proper steps to keep you and your loved ones safe and healthy. However, the constant influx of COVID-19 news can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed. Limit your news intake if possible by setting a designated amount of time per day, perhaps one hour, to catch up on news. Receive your COVID-19 important news and updates directly from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website, as opposed to watching lengthy news presentations. Limiting your news intake, can be really beneficial to your mental health.


More Coping Skills Tools

Dr. Patsy B. Evans L.M.H.C., D.O.M., Ph.D.

dr. harmony

Traumatologist and Clinical Sexologist 

Dr. Patsy Evans a.k.a. Dr. Harmony is one of Florida’s leading Clinical Sexologists and Traumatologists. She brings her unique blend of skills and education specializing in Kink Culture and Sexuality, Relationship Counseling, Executive, Leadership and Business Coaching, Traumatology, Crisis Management, Dispute Resolution, Diplomatic Relations, and Negotiation, and Corporate Culture Transformation. Dr. Evans is the founder of the Kink Aware Therapy Certification Institute and Harmonyus Inc. Dr. Harmony is a Florida Licensed Acupuncture Physician, License Mental Health Counselor, Clinical Sexologist and Supreme Court Certified Family Court Mediator (retired).

Through her own personal experiences and her unique insights, she has forged an extraordinarily successful methodology designed to conquer overwhelming emotions which may be interfering with your daily life, relationships, work and health. Her accreditation and certifications are extensive and her resume is impressive, but it is her character, insight and her complete engagement that makes her the counselor of choice for her clients. She is both endearing and personable but is also an acute observer; all qualities which help facilitate her disarming approach to assessment and treatment. Working with Dr. Harmony is at once both reassuring and comforting. As a trauma survivor, she can relate to many of the issues facing today’s individuals and families as they head into what may be uncharted and intimidating territory for them.

dr. harmony
The Real World Wonder Woman

Follow Dr. Harmony on Social Media

Facebook@harmonyusinc Twitter@harmonyusinc Email[email protected]


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Florida License Numbers:  AP1453       MH10407     ADR26196F

How to Identify and Provide Safe Food for Bulimics

Contrary to popular belief, bulimia does not only affect young teenage girls. Bulimia also affects adult women and young teenage boys and adult men too. Overcoming this eating disorder may take months or even years depending on the individual. One of the ways that could help a bulimic patient overcome this eating disorder is to identify safe food that they could eat on a regular basis. These foods will be non-guilty food and will also provide all the nutrition that they need.

Step 1

First, ask the bulimic patient to keep a diary of food they have eaten for at least a week. The diary should be very detailed and includes everything that was consumed and the emotions that they experienced with the different food. They have to write too if they had purged after eating that food. Remind them to write in their journal immediately right after eating or purging.

Step 2

Then review the diary together with the patient. Work out which food causes negative associations and which food has a positive experience.  List all the negative food under a page entitled foods to avoid. Write down all the food that patients purged on that page too. Then list down all the positive emotion food under a list entitled safe food. Work out which food that the patient has ate but did not purge and add it under that list. The safe food list should also contain fruits and vegetables the patients will enjoy.

Step 3

Next, together with the patient, create a weekly eating plan made of safe food. The plan should include each meal for each day and any snacks. Work out a grocery list with instructions to purchase the right amount of safe food for each meal. Remember to limit the number of days of food that they are allowed to purchase. This will prevent them from going on a bingeing spree. You could also work out recipes that are easy to follow and fast to prepare for the convenience of the patient.

In conclusion, with this food journal, the bulimic patient will now be able to eat healthily without feeling guilty. It is a never ending process but tell them to be patient and never give in to their cravings. Be there for them!


Bulimia Support Products

Bulimia is more than just a problem with your weight. An eating disorder isn’t something that’s formed on easy terms. And I don’t blame you, sometimes our circumstances such as our genetics, family background and social environments drive us into this self destructive pattern as a form of coping mechanism. And once we spiral into a maze of negativity, it can be very hard to get out of our self sabotaging ways of behavior. Discover how a hopeless bulimic freed himself from his uncontrolled habits and rid himself from life destroying addictions once and for all!

At the root of bulimia is a need to feel in control. While purging is a strategy for controlling weight, bingeing is an attempt to calm depression, stress, shame, and even boredom. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia offers new and healthy ways to overcome the distressing feelings and negative body-image beliefs that keep you trapped in this cycle.

DBT and Bulimia
DBT and Bulimia

7 Signs of Bulimia

Eating Disorder

Bulimia is an eating disorder characterized by frequent episodes of binge eating then followed by efforts to avoid gaining weight by any means necessary. For example, a bulimic would eat large amount of food then they would feel guilty of the huge amount of calories they have just consumed. Feeling so guilty, they would try eliminating the food through purging, fasting, using laxatives, excessive exercising and crash diets. All this defines a bulimic. So what are the signs of binge eating, purging and the physical signs that a bulimic will exhibit.

Binge Eating

  1. There is a lack of control when eating. They are unable to stop eating. They are usually eating large amount of food with no obvious change in weight. Furthermore, they may consume large amount of food in a short period of time.
  2. They are usually alternating between overeating and fasting. After a binge eating spree, they would feel guilty and spend the next day fasting.

Purging signs

  1. Going to a bathroom after meals. There will be vomit smell in the toilet after they have used it.
  2. They might be using laxatives, diuretics or enema. So check your medicine cabinet if any medications are missing. Or they are always frequently going to the pharmacy to purchase these medications
  3. Excessive exercising. They are always working strenuously just to lose the calories that they’ve consumed during their overeating binge.

Physical Signs of Bulimia

  1. Discolored teeth from exposure to stomach acid. Their teeth might be yellow or ragged.
  2. Puffy chipmunk cheeks from repeated vomiting.

These are only a few of the signs and symptoms that you may see in a bulimic. If you do observe any changes in your loved ones, it might be time to seek professional help, before this problem escalates and becomes life threatening.


Bulimia Support Products

Bulimia is more than just a problem with your weight. An eating disorder isn’t something that’s formed on easy terms. And I don’t blame you, sometimes our circumstances such as our genetics, family background and social environments drive us into this self destructive pattern as a form of coping mechanism. And once we spiral into a maze of negativity, it can be very hard to get out of our self sabotaging ways of behavior. Discover how a hopeless bulimic freed himself from his uncontrolled habits and rid himself from life destroying addictions once and for all!

At the root of bulimia is a need to feel in control. While purging is a strategy for controlling weight, bingeing is an attempt to calm depression, stress, shame, and even boredom. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia offers new and healthy ways to overcome the distressing feelings and negative body-image beliefs that keep you trapped in this cycle.

DBT and Bulimia
DBT and Bulimia