How Your Strengths Can Lead You to Success

personal strength

Personal Strengths

Imagine this scenario: A baker needs to give his wife the perfect gift. So, he goes out shopping for something to give her. He browses through jewelry at the jewelry store, but he doesn’t know how to tell what she would like. He looks at some lingerie, but he doesn’t know anything about it. In the end, he buys her a book, even though he isn’t sure what she likes to read. All of this time, instead of trying to buy her gifts that he knows nothing about, he could have baked the perfect cake or other pastry.

Now, this isn’t a perfect analogy. Most bakers’ wives probably eat so much cake that they would hate it as a gift.  But the point is that many people try to be successful without using a single one of their strengths. Writers try to make a fortune by building websites. Website designers try to make a fortune by writing novels. People don’t use their strengths nearly as often as they should to achieve success.

How Do I Do This?

Here are some things that you can do to make sure that you are using your strengths to help you achieve your goals and become successful.

strengths
  1. Know what your strengths actually are. Sit down and make a list of things that you are good at. Identify the ones that you are best at and put them at the top of the list.
  2. Determine how you can apply each strength to being successful. If you are looking for some way to become financially independent, then evaluate your strengths in relation to that. If you have already chosen a route to success, then determine how your strengths might be able to help you go further.
  3. Write down your goals if you haven’t already. Then look at each goal and adjust it so that you are using your strengths to their full potential to help you achieve those goals.
  4. Break your goals down further into short-term goals like monthly or weekly ones and do the same thing with your strengths.
  5. Finally, break your goals down into daily habits and decide how those same strengths can help you stick by your habits, replacing the bad ones with good ones.
  6. Continue these self-evaluations regularly and make sure that you are using your strength instead of things that you aren’t good at to achieve success.

Killing Depression Program (Free)

killing depression

The Killing Depression Program is your introduction to understanding the ins and outs of this mental health disorder. More than 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression according to experts. Depression is a serious mental health condition that requires understanding and medical care. If it is left untreated, depression can be devastating for those who have it and their families.

killing depression program
Download Free Depression List Here

While it may be a common practice these days to refer to a negative feeling inside you as ‘being depressed,’ the repercussions and the effects of a person who is suffering from depression are often ignored, sidelined or worse, they go unnoticed! It can affect the way you feel about yourself which, in turn, will make it very difficult and ‘depressing’ to get through your day-to-day chores.

Killing Depression Program

It is time to take a step towards a journey that will lead you to a depression free life. This checklist will run you through the simple steps and strategies to overcome your worst nightmares, to enter a brighter and highly positive lifestyle and find out how you can gain mastery over your emotions instead of letting them run wild.

Killing Depression teaches you the ins and outs of depression and how to treat it. Unsure if this course is right for you? Read more information with the killing depression program checklist. This program also includes an e-book.


Introduction to CBT

cbt

If you’re looking for a way to stay calm in a tense situation or a way to be focussed when all you want to do is relax – then CBT is something you should definitely consider. CBT stands for ‘Cognitive Behavioral Therapy’. Essentially, it is a set of tools used as a therapeutic tool when treating anxiety disorders. This also happens to be the preferred method of therapy among most health institutions today.

The best bit? As well as being highly effective and proven in countless studies, CBT is also very simple to teach and use. Here we will take a look at what CBT entails, why it’s so powerful and why it’s very much worth learning.

How CBT Works

CBT is essentially the natural evolution from behaviorism. Behaviorism is a school of psychology that views all of our behaviors and beliefs as trained. We repeat behaviors that create an outcome we are looking for. Behaviors that have been rewarded become reinforced and we perform them more often. Behaviors that have been punished or ignored become less common.

cbt
Diagram of cognitive-behavioral therapy

CBT takes this principle and adds an additional cognitive element – showing that we can actually reinforce a behaviour through the way we think. If we have anxious thoughts about an action for instance, then we can find ourselves actually enforcing that association to the point of even developing a phobia. We don’t actually have to experience anything bad – our belief and predictions alone are enough to create the association!

The same can also work in reverse. For example, first, logically break down your fears. Then, explain to yourself why you shouldn’t be afraid of them. Eventually, you can completely remove those phobias.

CBT Example

So how might this work?

A good example is a social phobia, which can be created through the maladaptive belief that you’re going to embarrass yourself, that you’re going to faint or that perhaps you’re in some kind of danger. It is your job then to remove this association through CBT using techniques such as ‘thought challenge’. Thought challenging involves assessing just how realistic a fear is in a logical way and often you’ll be able to disprove your own fears to yourself.

You can then formulate these new thoughts as positive affirmations and actually talk yourself up before big events. Eventually, this can be enough to complete remove the phobia or anxiety – and it’s something that anyone can practice alone at home!

cbt


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Maintaining Mental Health During Covid-19

covid mental health

As we continue to face the COVID-19 pandemic it is vital that we pay attention to mental health. Over the course of the pandemic, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, sadness, grief and depression have become common place. Not only are individuals worried for their physical health and that of their loved ones, they may also be experiencing financial instability, isolation due to social distancing and quarantine measures, or perhaps a sense of hopelessness. It is important to make some adaptations while we hope for brighter and safer days ahead. Doing so can greatly improve and protect your mental health.

Tips For Improving and Maintaining Mental Health During Covid-19:

Ask for Help and Seek Mental Health Support

It can be really challenging to reach out and ask for help when you are struggling. While it may not feel comfortable, asking for help when you need it is the most important tip on this list. Asking for help can start small with things like asking a partner to assist you with a task around the house when you feel overwhelmed. Asking for help may also mean contacting a mental health professional for professional mental health support.

Most importantly, if you are experiencing a mental health crisis, or fear that you may, ask for help by utilizing mental health crisis lines and support networks. Here are some crisis lines that you can keep handy:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
  • The Trevor Project: (Provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQIA+ individuals under the age of 25.) 1-866-488-7386 or text “START” to 678678.
  • Veterans Crisis Line: https://www.veteranscrisisline.net
  • SAMHSA’s National Helpline- (Provides treatment referral and information for individuals and families facing mental health or substance use disorders.) 1-800-662-4357
National Helpline
National Helpline

Stay Social

Social distancing measures, while working to keep us safe and protect our health, have left many people feeling isolated and lonely. It is important to maintain social contact as best as you can during this time. Here are some ideas for staying socially connected, while socially distanced:

  • Talk to your friends and family and determine a day and time that is open for everyone. Schedule a weekly video chat to catch up.
  • Find online virtual gaming spaces where you can play games with your friends or family online together. Set up a weekly game night.
  • Where you would normally text, try calling where you are able to instead, so you can have more of a socially connected conversation.
  • Have themed video call “parties”. You and your friends or family can dress up according to the theme, and show off your outfits during the video call. This can be a fun way to get out of your typical routine and comfort zone!

Limit News Intake

It is important to stay informed during this time, to make sure you are taking the proper steps to keep you and your loved ones safe and healthy. However, the constant influx of COVID-19 news can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and depressed. Limit your news intake if possible by setting a designated amount of time per day, perhaps one hour, to catch up on news. Receive your COVID-19 important news and updates directly from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) website, as opposed to watching lengthy news presentations. Limiting your news intake, can be really beneficial to your mental health.


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3 Deadly Myths bout bulimia

Body Positive

Many people thinks that bulimia is just an eating disorder with no health complications. In fact there have been many jokes in the media about bulimics.  However all these are untrue. Read on to find out about the three deadly myths of bulimia.

Bulimia Myth 1

You cannot die from bulimia.

Yes you can! Bulimics suffer a high risk of running into medical complications. This is especially so if you are purging your body of the nutrients that it needs by using laxatives, vomiting, excessive exercising and fasting. Did you know the constant vomiting in bulimia causes a serious electrolyte imbalance in your body. It depletes your body of the important ions. You could die from a cardiac arrest due to a potassium depletion in your body. Furthermore, due to all the vomiting, you could get yellow and rotting teeth too. This is from the gastric acid from your stomach. Not a pretty sight indeed.

Myth 2

Bulimia is a good way to lose weight.

Bulimia is not a good way to lose weight. The truth is bulimia does  not help anybody lose weight. It damages the body with all the alternating between the bingeing and the purging. You need to find a healthy alternative. Seek professional advice. Do not resort to bulimia to achieve the weight that you want, You could learn to eat your food and yet keep off the fat at the same time.

Myth 3

Bulimia only applies to people who eat large quantities of food and vomit them out

There are many ways to get rid of the food that you have just consumed. A bulimic could use laxatives or enemas to stimulate the dumping process. They could also try and vomit it out . Other instances are such as excessive exercising, chronic dieting and fasting.

In conclusion, bulimia is a deadly eating disorder. So educate yourself today about bulimia. You can have your cake and eat it too and bulimia is not the way to go. Remember that!



At the root of bulimia is a need to feel in control. While purging is a strategy for controlling weight, bingeing is an attempt to calm depression, stress, shame, and even boredom. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia offers new and healthy ways to overcome the distressing feelings and negative body-image beliefs that keep you trapped in this cycle.

DBT and Bulimia
DBT and Bulimia

Why LGBTQIA+ Affirmative Therapists are Important

Ask a Therapist

Why is an affirmative therapist important?

For many people, the process of finding a therapist can feel confusing, but the process of finding a therapist you trust can feel downright daunting. This can be especially true for the LGBTQIA+ community.  (Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, and other sexual, romantic, and gender expansive communities).  The LGBTQIA+ community as a whole faces various health disparities, largely due to higher rates of discrimination in the health care field, which includes mental health. Many individuals have experienced discrimination either first hand or vicariously. Even just the potential for discrimination is enough to deter LGBTQIA+ individuals from seeking mental health care when needed.

Struggles with Mental Health Access and the LGBTQ+ Community

LGBTQIA+ individuals being deterred from seeking mental health care is particularly troubling due to the fact that this community is exceptionally vulnerable to mental health struggles. The community is more than twice as likely to experience depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and other mental health disorders in their lifetime, compared to heterosexual, cisgender people. It is crucial to point out here that being a member of the LGBTQIA+ community is NOT a mental illness or disorder by any means. The way society treats LGBTQIA+ people contributes to the increased vulnerability for mental health struggles. The problem does not lie in their identity, the problem lies in how society often fails to affirm, support, celebrate and love their identity.

What is am Affirmative Therapist?

An affirmative therapist understands the experiences of LGBTQIA+ people, and understands the barriers and challenges they face. An affirmative therapist helps to navigate challenges and views mental health struggles from this perspective. They do not make any attempt to change someone’s identity. Affirmative therapists celebrate and support all aspects of identity, and seek to nurture self acceptance. Affirmative therapists view LGBTQIA+ identities as perfectly valid, and reject the idea that being heterosexual and cisgender is the “normal”. 

Why is an affirmative therapist important?

An affirmative therapist can provide a safe, supportive space for individuals struggling with identity. Thus they encourage you to explore gender, sexuality and other aspects of their identity without judgment. Not all  LGBTQIA+ people seek therapy for reasons related to their identity. However, having an affirmative therapist means they don’t have to teach their therapist what it means to be LGBTQIA+. Also, they don’t have to fear judgment when speaking about sex, gender, attraction, relationships, or any part of their story.  This frees an individual to explore themselves fully,. It also allows you to heal pain, to improve mental wellbeing, and to be seen fully and authentically. Having an affirmative therapist means experiencing true, deep empathy and celebration of their authentic, beautiful self. For many LGBTQIA+ people, this can be life changing, and even life saving.


Soothing Tools

Therapist Abigail Maher, M.A., N.C.C.

Florida Registered Mental Health Counseling Intern

Therapist Abby’s Education

Therapist Abby earned her Masters degree from the prestigious Northwestern University. Her specialization is working with the LGBTQIA+ population.

Therapist Abby’s Treatment Style

She uses a variety of treatment styles, theories and interventions in her work. However, her main focus is providing a safe, empathic environment.This will allow you to openly explore yourself and every facet of your experience. This includes exploring sources of pain and hurt, and celebrating sources of hope and joy. Abby believes that one of the most powerful things we can do is truly learn to understand and accept ourselves. Additionally, she believes in the practice of self compassion and living an authentic life. Thus, a session with Abby is very empowering.

Therapist Abby’s Community

Abby is an active volunteer in the LGBTQ+ community. The Trevor Project is a national organization dedicated to suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth. She is a volunteer member of the Human Rights Campaign. The Human Rights Campaign is the largest LGBTQ+ advocacy and civil rights organization in the United States. Additionally, she belongs to the Florida Association of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender issues in Counseling.

Contact Information

Email[email protected]

Florida License: IMH20274




Dr. Patsy B. Evans L.M.H.C., D.O.M., Ph.D.

dr. harmony

Traumatologist and Clinical Sexologist 

Dr. Patsy Evans a.k.a. Dr. Harmony is one of Florida’s leading Clinical Sexologists and Traumatologists. She brings her unique blend of skills and education specializing in Kink Culture and Sexuality, Relationship Counseling, Executive, Leadership and Business Coaching, Traumatology, Crisis Management, Dispute Resolution, Diplomatic Relations, and Negotiation, and Corporate Culture Transformation. Dr. Evans is the founder of the Kink Aware Therapy Certification Institute and Harmonyus Inc. Dr. Harmony is a Florida Licensed Acupuncture Physician, License Mental Health Counselor, Clinical Sexologist and Supreme Court Certified Family Court Mediator (retired).

Through her own personal experiences and her unique insights, she has forged an extraordinarily successful methodology designed to conquer overwhelming emotions which may be interfering with your daily life, relationships, work and health. Her accreditation and certifications are extensive and her resume is impressive, but it is her character, insight and her complete engagement that makes her the counselor of choice for her clients. She is both endearing and personable but is also an acute observer; all qualities which help facilitate her disarming approach to assessment and treatment. Working with Dr. Harmony is at once both reassuring and comforting. As a trauma survivor, she can relate to many of the issues facing today’s individuals and families as they head into what may be uncharted and intimidating territory for them.

dr. harmony
The Real World Wonder Woman

Follow Dr. Harmony on Social Media

Facebook@harmonyusinc Twitter@harmonyusinc Email[email protected]


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Florida License Numbers:  AP1453       MH10407     ADR26196F

How to Support Someone with Bulimia

Anxiety Support and Treatment

When you love someone with bulimia, it is important to be a good support to them. Oftentimes a person with an eating disorder is too embarrassed to seek help. Other times, they may deny that they have a problem. So if you noticed a friend who may bulimic, here are some ways you could approach your friends to help them.

Educate Yourself

Educate yourself. You need to educate yourself on what bulimia is really about. Learn what kind of eating disorder is it. How does it come about? Why does it happen? What are the signs and symptoms of bulimia? What could you do to help them? Educate yourself first before trying to help another.

Ask Questions and Listen

Sit the person down and have a talk with them. Listen with understanding. Do not be judgmental. Tell them all you have learned about bulimia. Tell them you are being concerned about their health, their eating habits. Do not attack them. Attacking them would make them go on the defense and you would never be able to proceed from there on.

Offer Support

Give your support. Tell that them you are there to give them support. You could always be available for them. Tell them that if they do not want to discuss the matter, it’s okay but you are always willing to help them should they change their mind. You could accompany them to a counselor or a physician to get themselves checked.

Social Support

You could also find a social group for your friend with other sufferers of bulimia. Together they would be able to help each other through it. These social groups will create a safe environment for your friend to feel comfortable in.

Lastly, be kind and understanding. Know your limits. You can’t give them the professional help they need. Just be prepared to give them the moral support they need. Fighting bulimia may be a lifelong battle and they need all the help they can get. So be there for them!


Bulimia is more than just a problem with your weight. An eating disorder isn’t something that’s formed on easy terms. And I don’t blame you, sometimes our circumstances such as our genetics, family background and social environments drive us into this self destructive pattern as a form of coping mechanism. And once we spiral into a maze of negativity, it can be very hard to get out of our self sabotaging ways of behavior. Discover how a hopeless bulimic freed himself from his uncontrolled habits and rid himself from life destroying addictions once and for all!

At the root of bulimia is a need to feel in control. While purging is a strategy for controlling weight, bingeing is an attempt to calm depression, stress, shame, and even boredom. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia offers new and healthy ways to overcome the distressing feelings and negative body-image beliefs that keep you trapped in this cycle.

DBT and Bulimia
DBT and Bulimia

How to Identify and Provide Safe Food for Bulimics

Contrary to popular belief, bulimia does not only affect young teenage girls. Bulimia also affects adult women and young teenage boys and adult men too. Overcoming this eating disorder may take months or even years depending on the individual. One of the ways that could help a bulimic patient overcome this eating disorder is to identify safe food that they could eat on a regular basis. These foods will be non-guilty food and will also provide all the nutrition that they need.

Step 1

First, ask the bulimic patient to keep a diary of food they have eaten for at least a week. The diary should be very detailed and includes everything that was consumed and the emotions that they experienced with the different food. They have to write too if they had purged after eating that food. Remind them to write in their journal immediately right after eating or purging.

Step 2

Then review the diary together with the patient. Work out which food causes negative associations and which food has a positive experience.  List all the negative food under a page entitled foods to avoid. Write down all the food that patients purged on that page too. Then list down all the positive emotion food under a list entitled safe food. Work out which food that the patient has ate but did not purge and add it under that list. The safe food list should also contain fruits and vegetables the patients will enjoy.

Step 3

Next, together with the patient, create a weekly eating plan made of safe food. The plan should include each meal for each day and any snacks. Work out a grocery list with instructions to purchase the right amount of safe food for each meal. Remember to limit the number of days of food that they are allowed to purchase. This will prevent them from going on a bingeing spree. You could also work out recipes that are easy to follow and fast to prepare for the convenience of the patient.

In conclusion, with this food journal, the bulimic patient will now be able to eat healthily without feeling guilty. It is a never ending process but tell them to be patient and never give in to their cravings. Be there for them!


Bulimia Support Products

Bulimia is more than just a problem with your weight. An eating disorder isn’t something that’s formed on easy terms. And I don’t blame you, sometimes our circumstances such as our genetics, family background and social environments drive us into this self destructive pattern as a form of coping mechanism. And once we spiral into a maze of negativity, it can be very hard to get out of our self sabotaging ways of behavior. Discover how a hopeless bulimic freed himself from his uncontrolled habits and rid himself from life destroying addictions once and for all!

At the root of bulimia is a need to feel in control. While purging is a strategy for controlling weight, bingeing is an attempt to calm depression, stress, shame, and even boredom. The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bulimia offers new and healthy ways to overcome the distressing feelings and negative body-image beliefs that keep you trapped in this cycle.

DBT and Bulimia
DBT and Bulimia